As you can guess from the title, my intention was to write a blog post about men’s mindfulness. I realised less than half-way through that I don’t really know men’s attitudes toward mindful practice. . I don’t want to sit here and write about it as if I know the facts. I really don’t. And I’m more interested to know what the profile is of men in the world today, and what other men have to say about it. So I’m asking instead. If this is a topic that interests you, please would you add your voice through my anonymous survey? I’ll publish the insights later this month to share those with you. And I am open to discussions as well.
Here’s the survey, I truly appreciate your input.
I believe men need new tools. We need to pause, reset, and open the doorway into the heart of masculinity. And one of the best and most basic tools for that reset, is mindful practice.
A bit of background
Why this even became a hot topic for me was a realisation that through years of mindfulness work, there seem to be a lot more women joining the sessions than men. And I wonder why it is that mindfulness is not widely adopted by men?
I don’t know. But I can guess.
There might be many answers, including the cultural and societal norms that pervade western society, in which the now infamous Camel man never needed to meditate. And like the Camel man, men’s emotions are considered insignificant when navigating the rugged terrain of family, work, sports and life.
On top of that, men’s role models have been lost. Most elders are fading into ignominy or standing out like doddering fools in public view. Disembodied voices arrive directly to our ears in Podcasts, ideas to our eyes through words on pages. We are ruled by screens and timezones. Our heroes now adorn our sports fields and action movies – fresh-faced champions: young, healthy, energetic.
And I’m curious.
Because mindfulness offers a wide range of benefits that can enhance the quality of life for men, including improvements in mental and physical health, relationships, work performance, and overall well-being. It provides valuable tools for navigating the complexities of modern life.
So why do men gravitate away from these practices?
Men experience emotions, and are as much impacted by them as women are, albeit through a different lens. Men are beings of sight and physicality. We are capable of feats of strength of mind and strength of body, yet these can become extreme and amplified.
Lurking beneath and mediating many of men’s behaviours, especially unconscious behaviours, might be repressed emotions that are seen as negative (fear, jealousy, desire), suppressed emotions (anger, anguish, ambition), or unactivated creative outlets.
Mindfulness is simply the exercise of the mind in maintaining one’s focus for a length of time. The benefits are visceral with a slower heart rate, relaxation of the striated muscles, reduced sympathetic nervous system signals and increased parasympathetic nervous signals.
If mindfulness is practised regularly, longer term benefits include the ability to respond rather than to react to external events with more fluidity, and to become the observer of internal fantasies, voices and stories with less judgement and more curiosity.
This strengthening through mindfulness will have an impact on men’s mental wellness. With awareness and strength to face past wounds and trauma, we can be more true to inner needs, have greater resilience in adversity, have more fulfilling intimate relationships, make conscious behavioural and consumptive choices, and enjoy a deeper, more authentic community with other men with more attuned social intelligence.
I believe men need new tools. We need to pause, reset, and open the doorway into the heart of masculinity. And one of the best and most basic tools for that reset, is mindful practice.
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